THE Bearded Banana

Relaxing 3

admin — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 12:51:16 +0000

Relaxing 2

admin — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 12:40:24 +0000

Relaxing 1

admin — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 22:27:57 +0000

THE Bearded Banana: Sweet recovery! Now that I’m injured, I can relax without feeling guilty. Normally, I can’t bring myself to relax, knowing how desperately this troubled world needs me. I’d better not watch the news. Seeing the devastation would just tempt me to go back to work before I should.

Newscaster: Since THE Bearded Banana has been out of commission, accidental deaths have dropped 50%.

Pre-existing Conditions 6

admin — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 02:52:24 +0000

Comissioner: So you want to apply for government health insurance because the private companies turned you down for a pre-existing condition?

THE Bearded Banana: Yes

Comissioner: Okay, well, we’re actually going to have to put this on hold for a moment because of your pre-existing condition. Someone take him outside!

THE Bearded Banana: WHAT!?!? Comissioner: Sir, you’re still on fire!

THE Bearded Banana: OBAMA PROMISED CHANGE!!!

Pre-existing Conditions 5

admin — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 00:16:51 +0000

The Bearded Banana: I’m glad you found doggy hiding in the shed. I wish I’d known she was there so I wouldn’t have burned up looking.

Alec: (Thinks) I hid the dog in the locked shed to get the Banana to search for her in the burning building for revenge, and he has no idea! I’m going to get away with this!

The Bearded Banana: I understand why the dog hid from the fire, but how did she get your shed key?

Pre-existing Conditions 4

admin — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 00:52:50 +0000

The Bearded Banana: (Over Walkie Talkie) I’m in the living room. Flames Everywhere! I don’t see Doggy!

Alec: You set bot our houses on fire and may have burned the dog! Don’t give up ’til you redeem yourself!

The Bearded Banana: (Over Walkie Talkie) Ahhh! My beard is on fire! My cape is gone! I don’g know how much longer I can search!

Alec: You can do this! Be a hero! Stay in there until you find the dog!

Man: But you said you wanted the walkie so you could be the first to tell him we found the dog in the shed 20 minutes ago.

Alec: Maybe she’s in the attic! Better check!

Pre-existing Conditions 3

admin — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 04:16:33 +0000

Alec: You’ve burned 2 houses! What made you start smoking? I would understand if this were the 50s when there were smoking ads on tv, but it’s illegal now! Name one cool role model who smokes!

The Bearded Banana: Barack Obama.

…

Alec: (smoking) Wasn’t Dog next to you before we left the house?

Pre-existing Conditions 2

admin — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 00:13:59 +0000

Alec: I’m mad that i have to stay at your house because you burned mine down while house sitting!

The Bearded Banana: I didn’t do it! Must have beeen electrical fire!

Alec: And since when do you smoke!?

The Bearded Banana: Not long enough! My lungs keep filling, so I keep throwing them away before they’re finished!

(Outside)

The Bearded Banana: Wow, 2 electrical fires in 1 day!

Preexisting Conditions

admin — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 08:47:38 +0000

Alec: Thanks for house sitting and picking me up from the airport! How have you been?

The Bearded Banana: Not good! I just got declined for insurance because of a preexisting condition.

Alec: Don’t worry! soon, health insurance companies won’t be allowed to do that. I’ll show you an article about it at my house.

The Bearded Banana: Unfortunately, it wasn’t health insurance.

Alec: What was it?

The Bearded Banana: Fire insurance. You know what would be fun? Staying in a hotel again tonight! My treat!

Replace Nozzle After Filling

admin — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 07:00:00 +0000

The Bearded Banana: Step on it! We need to escape from this gas station fast!

Alec: Oh no! What did you do?

The Bearded Banana: You know that thing on the pump that says “Replace nozzle after filling?” I just put back the used one.

Alec: Whew! Haha! You’re supposed to do that! I thought you didn’t pay or something. The Bearded Banana: Pay?